May 2022 Issue

Page 38 May 2022 EAST COAST EQUESTRIAN Go ahead...Ask da Mare By Malorie de la Mare Dear Mal… Recently I was at a horse show, watching an amazing group of young people bravely contend with horses that refused to go over cavalettis, lost stirrups—and even a horse’s tail getting tangled in a jump standard! It was utterly charming and reminded me of the best times of my childhood. I was standing near a man and woman who were commenting on the kids and the show. They couldn’t get over the fact that one of the young kids was not rail thin. He was, in fact, just a bit chubby but he was adorable--such an intense little guy. He smiled, he begged Arrogant and Obnoxious his horse to trot, at the end he leaned forward and hugged his horse and thanked him for being such a good boy. “You were great and I love you, Chief!” I teared up, looked around and almost everyone was just smitten by this little kid. Everyone except the couple near me. They commented loudly that the young man didn’t look like “the equestrians we’re used to.” They snickered as rib- bons were awarded and continued their revolting running commen- tary for several minutes. I was both horrified and angry and was about to confront them when I thought that my actions might inadvertently amplify their in- sulting commentary. All the way home, I replayed that scene and became even angrier—but with myself for not doing something. Do you think I should have said something to those creeps? -Frustrated Dear Frustrated… I can understand your dilem- ma. Please don’t beat yourself up over this event, though, because we’re living in a time when the rules most of us learned as kids don’t seem to apply. People see bullying and fear that the bullies are armed, or that the bully will sue them if they intervene, or that a scene will erupt and ruin the day for everyone. But the question lingering in the air is this: what is the right thing to do? What is the courageous and kind thing to do? You witnessed two people being arrogant and obnoxious about a little kid they neither knew personally nor cared about. Shame on them! Major shame on them. Their loudmouthed comments could have hurt the child’s feel- ings. Shame on them! You should, as the nuns at my grade school used to say, “consider the source.” What would have made two adults act like common bullies in front of kids? Were these people in a space where they felt insecure or inadequate? Cue the obnoxious commentary, intended to lift their egos to a space where they were more comfortable. You wanted these people to shut up before they hurt the young rider’s feelings. But you didn’t want to create a scene that would have broadcast the insulting patter. It seems to me the action that might have helped the couple understand the impact of their arrogance might start with kindness. Perhaps you could quiet- ly ask them to step away from the ring for a moment, at which time you could explain how hurtful their commentary could have been if the young man had heard it. You might remind them that the kids in the show are innocent and vul- nerable and might be easily hurt. It’s a hard thing to do—to resist belittling the bullies while plying them with kindness. But it may be the only way to interrupt the cycle of thoughtless, unkind behavior we are witnessing in stores, on the road and at horse shows. Good for you to think about this young man. Dear Mal… My horse is now 31 years old, and I’m getting a ton of ad- vice from friends about the best strategies to keep him healthy. One friend told me that he should be confined to a small space with almost no grass so he doesn’t hurt himself. Another friend said that my horse probably has arthritis, and I should be very careful not to hurt him when I’m grooming him. In some ways, I do appre- ciate my friends’ advice, but think they might be projecting just a bit—especially when they suggest that my horse could be suffering from depression and anxiety. We live in a pretty rural area--our vet’s practice is about 25 miles from here. I’ve mostly done trail riding with my horse, along with a couple of local shows; but about a year ago I stopped riding him, since he’s not the only one getting a bit older. I don’t mind getting the vet to come out to check my horse over, but I’d like to have some ideas about things that I should be doing to make sure the horse gets the best care every day. -Worried Dear Worried… Senior horses deserve the very best, for one thing, it’s a way of thanking them for the years of joy they’ve given us. For another, as his protector, you have an ethical obligation to do what’s best for him. It’s clear that you are motivated to do what is best for your horse, so kudos to you. You would be horrified by the number of people who basically ignore their horses once they get older. Just as humans do, horses need different things as they age. As you look at your horse, you can easily see where there may be age-related changes. Is his appe- tite unchanged? Or is he having difficulty with his feed? Has he lost weight? Is his coat lustrous and healthy looking? Has his coordination declined? Are his feet in good shape? Older horses can develop dental problems that affect the way they eat and how much they eat. Dental problems can also contribute to choke. Old- er horses often develop Cushing’s disease, which can be managed but not cured. Manifestations of Cushing’s include changes in the horse’s coat, increased thirst, lethargy and muscle loss. It can also lead to laminitis. If you want to make a checklist for care, include: regular dental care, hoof care, vaccinations, and a chat with your vet to make sure you’re not missing anything. As you can see, there are still a lot of moving pieces in the aging horse, and it’s up to you to ensure that your horse ages comfortably and happily. Congratulations on being a conscientious and compassion- ate horse companion. Have a question for Mal? Email her at PAEquest@aol. com.