March/April 2025 Issue

Page 68 March/April 2025 EAST COAST EQUESTRIAN See page 78 for details. Not a print subscriber? Join the ongoing mailing list for just $20. FREE Classifieds for print subscribers! Go ahead... Ask da Mare Miserable, Lonely Boarder By Malorie de la Mare Dear Mal… My horse lives at a wonder- ful farm, with mostly nice board- ers. One of the people, though, seems to be a miserable and lonely person. She hardly speaks to anyone. And never smiles. If she does say anything, it’s usually a critical remark about how people take care of their horses, or what they are wearing. Most of us have friends who come to the farm occasionally to see our horses or watch us ride. This woman is always alone. Her horse seems very sweet, but she hardly ever says anything kind to him. Because this person never speaks to anyone, everyone has a theory about her back story. None of those theories is very nice, and the reality that this person’s lack of interactions with us is creating such a groundswell of negative stories bothers me. What do you think I could do to make this situation better? -Sad Observer Dear Sad Observer… It’s funny how one per- son’s silence can be so loud, isn’t it? Instead of indulging in brainstorming sessions about this woman’s life story, may- be you could talk to her? It’s intimidating, I know, to break through a wall of whatever sadness this woman is enduring. But you may wind up helping her engage in a more positive way around the barn. Horses are great at starting conversations, as you probably know. Maybe you could make it a point to ask her about her horse. Maybe you could tell her a funny or sad or absurd story about your horse (most horse owners have a story for every purpose!). The fact that you recognize that this wom- an is “miserable and lonely” speaks to your empathy. Don’t suppress that; it’s a resource in short supply in the world and the world needs more of it. Your first attempt at conversation may not be a breakthrough, but don’t give up. Obviously, this woman has interests—she has a sweet horse, after all. Make sure you don’t contribute to her loneliness by indulging in gossip about her. Make it a point to smile at her, say hello to her and ask her if you can share your horse’s treats with her horse. You may know that horses are excellent readers of body language—it’s part of their survival strategy. It’s some- thing we can learn from them and use to surmount the divides between us. Hope you find a new friend in this adventure! Dear Mal… My gelding is in his 30’s and seems to be in good health. This winter, however, is much colder than the past several winters and I’m wondering if there’s some- thing I should be watching for to make sure he stays healthy. I don’t ride him anymore, but I see him every day and try to look him over for any signs of swelling or lameness. When I was riding ev- ery day, it was pretty easy to pick up on any problems he might have been having. But I want to make sure he stays healthy and happy for a long time. What do you think? -Old Friend Dear Old Friend… You and your horse have a wonderful history together, and I’m glad you’re still focused on his well-being. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind. The cold weather may have an impact on your horse’s surroundings; so make sure that his water bucket doesn’t freeze, and that his stall is not drafty. When you visit him, check his demeanor. If he’s relaxed and munching hay or grass, he’s probably not cold. But run your hands along his chest and shoul- ders. You should feel warmth. If you don’t feel any warmth, you should probably either change his blanket or get a heavier one. Some horses grow naturally thick, warm coats and don’t need blankets in the winter. But if your horse has been clipped, or if his coat is not that good, he should have some protection. Get him to walk along with you a bit, to check for any lameness. Winter cold brings ice and mud, so be sure to check your horse’s feet for any signs of thrush. Older horses may not be able to chew as well as they once did, and it might be a good idea to ask your vet to check your horse’s teeth. You may need to change his diet a bit. My old guy has a tendency to choke, and his teeth are not as robust as they once were, so his grain is soaked before he gets it. While your vet is checking your horse, ask her for any specific things you should watch for. And, I’m sure you do this anyway, but just a reminder: always hug your guy and tell him how much you love him. Good luck! Have a question for Mal? Email her at PAEquest@aol. com.