June 2021 Issue

Page 22 June 2021 EAST COAST EQUESTRIAN FARMS HORSES By Malorie de la Mare Dear Mal… A year ago I graduated from college, and got my first job, with a paycheck that doesn’t have to be used for school. It has been both liberating and nerve-wrack- ing. But that didn’t stop me from buying a horse…and, as my parents describe it, buying a host of problems. So, this is the first summer that I will be a horse owner! I’m excited, nervous, scared, etc. I’m afraid that—after being a rider of other peoples’ horses (mostly lesson barns) for so many years—I won’t know how to be a rider and good caretaker of my own horse. I’m boarding Ernie at the barn where I’ve been taking lessons, and everyone has been very kind and helpful. My parents are sort of irritated about this whole venture. With a variety of scholarships and jobs I worked at since I was 15, I was able to pay for about 80 per cent of my college education. And I set up a five-year plan to repay my parents for what they invested in my education. Still, they’re telling me that I’m too immature, that I’m obviously not ready to take on this huge respon- sibility, that they will have to bail me out, etc., etc. So, on top of my fears about what things I need to do to take care of my horse, I’ve got the added worries about how to prove to my parents that I’m up to all this. And then there’s my career, which is important to me My Parents Disapprove of My Horse and which holds so much promise for my professional life. Do you have any advice? I feel like I’m caught between finally getting the horse I’ve wanted for years and disappointing my parents. -Caught in the Middle Dear Caught… First, let’s take the easiest part of your question. You will be a great horse owner, because you obviously care about your horse, and are focused on mak- ing sure he gets what he needs. Plus, you have worked hard to be able to get a horse—fulfilling a years’ long dream. Way to go! Now, let’s think about why your parents are skeptical of your ability to handle the respon- sibility of horse ownership. What are they actually telling you? Sometimes people speak in codes, because they don’t feel comfortable articulating what’s really on their minds. Your parents love you. Maybe they’re conflicted about the fact that you seem to be entering the world as something other than their precious daughter. You’re now an independent, thoughtful young woman with priorities and plans and dreams to pursue. And perhaps this independent young woman doesn’t “need” them anymore. You obviously respect all they have done for you, and have shown both maturity and a recognition of their contribu- tions to your success by setting up a plan to repay them for what they invested in your education. Think about how much of your success today is related to your parents’ guidance and care. Instead of feeling caught, look at this conflict as an oppor- tunity to have a conversation with your parents, and show them that you recognize how much you owe them. Reinforce the impor- tance of your relationship, even as you remind them that your new path is just that—a new path. There’s not a door you’re slam- ming in their faces. Maybe they saw your five-year repayment plan as something other than a sign of your respect for all they have done for you. Did they see it as a business contract? Make sure they understand that you are all “partners” for life. It’s hard for parents to let go after years of nurturing, worrying over and loving their kids. Your parents are asking you to help them get across this hurdle. Give them a FREE Print subscribers get FREE classifieds! Print subscribers get FREE non-commercial classified ads! Just email your non-commercial (events, horses/trailers/tack for sale, boarding/lessons/ training etc.) classified, 35 words or less to steph@eastcoastequestrian.net . Be sure to include your name and mailing address as it appears on your sub- scription label. (Not a print subscriber? Sign up online at eastcoastequestri- an.net .) Classifieds can run in more than one issue but must be resubmitted each month. Deadline is the 12th of the month before publication. TRAINING: Westfield Farm LLC, Tailored for horse and owner. ALL Breeds and disciplines. We will make your trail horse safe or a winning show horse. More info at Westfieldfarmllc.com or CALL 717-432-2828. We get results. Horse Boarding, private Farm in Pedricktown, NJ. Full Board- Stall opens to your own one acre grass field. $325 Mo. or one acre field with run-in shed $275 Mo. or Rough Board $150 Mo. - 856-299-3616 Quiet, no stress 40-acre facility 10 min. to DE Memorial & Commodore Barry bridges, adjacent to 38 mi. of marked/ GPS trails. Lit round pen/arena, ¼ mi. track, wooded jump & competitive trail courses. $300 pasture/$500 stall board. 609-617-2118. Two OTTB mares: 16yo liver chestnut, 15.2, retired sound, proven broodmare, $600. 14yo bay, 14.3, serviceably sound, $700. Both need re-schooling for Dres- sage, Hunter or Pleasure careers. 215-536-5353, Lv message. Omega Horse Rescue located in Airville, PAhas a variety of horses and ponies ready for their forever homes! Please visit our website to see pic- tures, videos and how you can help! www.omegahorserescue.com Better than right off the track! The PTHA's Turning for Home, Inc. always has OTTBs that are properly rehabbed, retrained and ready for their new careers. Find your next horse at www.turningforhome.org or call 215-808-7562. Exiss 6 Horse slant aluminum gooseneck 2001. Stainless nose. Lighted, carpeted dressing room. Extra rear compartment. Many saddle/ bridle racks. Everything removable to enlarge stalls or fit carts. 7'6"ht. Extremely nice condition. $17,000. OBO 717-432-2828 Help wanted, prvt. barn, Oxford PA, to bathe & groom horses & for barn “housekeeping” (remove cobwebs & dust) & to help clean tack. Room & organize blankets. No stall work. $10.00/hr. Noon to 4 or 1 to 5, 3 or 4 da/wk. Experience and 2 references required. 610–220–4495 Over 200 horse racing jockey interviews can be found on my website at www.femalejockeys.com HORSES MISC. hand, and make sure they get to know Ernie. Good luck! Dear Mal… I heard that people are conducting research about trees and how they “communicate” with each other. Trees! Really? It made me wonder about how horses communicate. I know that horses pin their ears when they’re mad, and flick their tails. But how do they convey important information—or just “casual” conversation with each other? -Curious Dear Curious… Well, equine communica- tion involves a lot more than tail flicking and ear-pinning, as you suggest. Horses are herd animals, and they are also prey animals. Throughout their millions of years on the planet, horses have survived because they are able to communicate with their herd-mates. Even domesticated horses communicate with each other—despite the fact that most horse farms are not susceptible to attacks by mountain lions or other predators. Horses use their ears, their eyes, their voices, their nostrils—virtually their whole bodies!—to communicate. When horses are trying to locate the source of a frightening noise, they rotate their ears. When they’re relaxed and enjoying them- selves, their ears may be pointing forward. Similarly, their eyes show fear, happiness, relaxation and anger. When they’re stressed or frightened, their eyes may be widened, with the whites showing, and they may be moving their eyes rapidly. Flared nostrils while the horse is working are normal. Flared nostrils when the horse is in his stall or pasture indicate fear or anxiety. You may have heard horses nicker softly when some- one approaches their stalls with food. Horses also use their voices to communicate stress or even loneliness. The point is that horses are quite different from trees, and their communication methods are more obvious and varied. They, like dogs and cats and sheep and humans, are sentient creatures, with deep emotional lives. It’s only normal that their emotions would find expression in their body language and their voices. Have a question for Mal? Email her at PAEquest@aol. com. Go ahead...Ask da Mare To advertise please contact: Phyllis or Debbie at (717) 509-9800 Don't Miss the July Issue! Advertising Deadline: June 11 www.eastcoastequestrian.net With a special feature on Trailers & Transport