December 2020/January 2021 Issue

Real Estate EAST COAST EQUESTRIAN December 2020/January 2021 Page 21 Go ahead...Ask da Mare By Malorie de la Mare Dear Mal… Is it possible for a horse to remember someone he has not seen in several years? I’m asking because, eight years ago, when I left for college, my parents sold my horse. They thought I would lose interest, and they had a willing buyer. They didn’t tell me until I came home for winter break that first year. Needless to say, I was heartbroken, and felt betrayed. My parents reasoned (correctly) that they had pur- chased the horse for me, paid for my lessons and for his board and care—just as they paid for my college education and My Parents Sold My Horse–Should I Buy Him Back? graduate school. Therefore, they explained, the horse was actual- ly theirs, not mine. In the eight years since my parents sold my horse, I have dreamed about him, worried about him, wondered what his life is like, and thought about how I might find him and at the very least visit him to tell him I’ve never forgotten him. So, here I am, out of school, with a graduate degree and a wonderful job. I have located my horse, who is now 16 years old, and living on a farm about four hours away from where I’m now living. The people who own him are consid- ering selling him, and I’ve found a place where I can keep him, ride him and try to make up for all the years. Am I crazy? I still love horses, and ride frequently at the barn where I would be board- ing him. Would he remember me? Would he hate me for abandoning him? Am I crazy? -Older and Sadder Dear Older and Sadder… If you have the means, the time and the commitment to give this horse the love, care and se- curity he deserves, don’t hesitate. Will he remember you? Absolute- ly! Horses have deep memories, and can recognize people who have treated them badly, as well as people who have been kind and compassionate to them. They remember people they’ve bonded with. You owe it to yourself and to this horse to get back together. He still has a lot of good years to share with you, and every minute you waste worrying is another minute you won’t have to enjoy with him. Your parents may not have realized how much this horse meant to you, so forgive them for not recognizing this. They may have had good reasons to try to find a home for your horse; and, they made sure you got the education you need to develop a secure life for your- self. Make sure you’re doing this out of a sincere commitment to this horse, and not as a means of proving something to your parents. Again, the horse is not a bargaining chip, or a weapon to use to make your parents feel remorse. He has likely been well cared for, and you need to make sure you’re ready to commit years to caring for him. It’s a lovely story, particularly during this time of year, and I can imag- ine what an amazing reunion you will have. Best of luck to you, your horse and your family. Dear Mal… Please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m not trying to be nasty. But I wonder about this friend of mine who is totally nuts about horses. Her horses. Okay, this friend is more than a friend. She is my “potential” (Continued on page 26)